For most guys in relationships, his girlfriend’s friendships with other men are hot button issues. When your girlfriend doesn’t just have male friends, but her absolute best friend is a guy the level of concern is raised. But why? If a woman is going to cheat, she will cheat regardless of who her friends are. There is a deeper issue that you need to resolve. If you want this relationship to work, you need to work with the male best friend and not against him.

Forget Everything You Think You Know
If you think it’s impossible for men and women to be platonic friends, you are out of your mind. There is no guarantee that they are attracted to each other, and although there is love there, “romantic love” is a completely different emotion. Think of all the deep secrets and stupid, embarrassing, disgusting stories you tell your best friend. Do you really think your girlfriend could date a guy after knowing those things about him? If this guy is truly her best friend, she knows enough to not want to take it there. Plus, they’d never overstep the boundaries of their friendship because it is far too valuable to them. This is usually a bond like the one between a brother and sister.

You’re the Replaceable One
You know that saying “Bros before hoes”? Girls have their own version of that, it just doesn’t sound as cool and catchy. The male best friend has been in her life for years. He helped her with everything from homework to moving furniture into her first apartment. While she may like you, she knows that boyfriends come and go, and he has outlasted them for a reason. No, it’s not that they’re secretly hooking up. Don’t try to break this friendship, you will become the controlling, jealous, and super annoying ex.

Here’s What You Should Do
Boys, this is where you learn to swallow your pride and communicate your feelings. Let your girlfriend know you are uncomfortable with her close friendship. Don’t make demands or give her an ultimatum. Ask if you could all go out for a super casual dinner at Chili’s or something. Make an effort to get to know this guy and learn what he’s all about. I’m sure you’re nice to her female friends, don’t let him be any different. If you think things will be awkward with just the three of you, invite super jolly happy people who will help ease the tension. Act like a grown up in a real life relationship, don’t be a jerk, and open your mind. You might actually end up liking this dude, and if you don’t, you need a better reason than “Cause he’s a dude”.

In Conclusion
Every relationship is different, so you definitely want to use your best judgment for your situation. If you don’t see an obvious red flag like your girlfriend’s best friend caressing her thigh during your gathering at Chili’s, you might need to chill out and trust her. If you know she isn’t the type to cheat, don’t think another guy change her mind. That whole “I trust you, but I don’t trust him” line is lame. He can only do what he allows her to. If you can’t handle the pressure of the alleged competition you and her best friend are in, leave early in the relationship. Don’t waste your time or hers. For the record, my best friend is a guy, he’s straight, we never hooked up, and I wouldn’t waste more than 15 minutes trying to convince a man I’m seeing that he is just a friend.